Woman who was sexually abused as a child thanks police and shares her story to help others
Main article content
A woman who was sexually abused when she was a child has spoken out to help parents recognise the warning signs and protect their own children.
"I didn’t report the abuse when it happened to me, but when I became a mother myself, I realised how vital it was to speak out and ensure this person was held accountable.
"One of the most important things for me moving forward is sharing my experience to help prevent it happening at all.
"As a parent I have that overriding desire to protect my child and keep them safe. "But I am also a survivor of child sexual abuse so I want to do what I can to protect other children too."
The mother, who lives in Essex, has some advice for parents to help them navigate this difficult area and she says the key is ensuring open communication.
She said:
"Without doubt building a relationship based on trust and good communication is key.
"Teach your children that a trusted person will never ask you to keep a secret, and if they do they should tell you right away.
"They need to know they will never be in trouble and you will always believe them.
"It’s also really important for children to feel secure in the knowledge that nothing they say or do will stop you loving them.
"Someone might threaten them that if they tell a secret, mummy/daddy won’t love them anymore.
"It’s imperative they know that is not true and is a 'red flag' behaviour they must report.
"As a parent or caregiver, you must really listen to them if they tell you something.
"Do the research, educate yourselves, look out for tiny signs, and ask your children appropriate questions.
"Don’t be fooled by thinking 'it won’t happen to us' because sadly it happens everywhere.
"Latest statistics for England and Wales from Rape Crisis tell us that 1 in 6 children have been sexually abused."
After finding the strength to report the abuse she had suffered as a child to Essex Police, she liaised with officers throughout the pandemic until charges were brought against her abuser.
"there's power in sharing your story"
"I’m relieved to have finally seen justice served in my case and I’m very grateful to Essex Police for their support and determination to bring this case before the courts.
"I hope going forward I can find a way to help others by sharing my experience. I know there are lots of incredible organisations out there and I would say to others to reach out and talk to someone.
"There’s a power in sharing your story."
Synergy Essex
Synergy Essex offers independent and specialised services for individuals who have experienced rape or sexual abuse in Essex.
Synergy Essex is a partnership of three services; Centre for Action on Rape and Abuse (CARA), SERICC Rape and Sexual Abuse Specialist Service, and Southend-on-Sea Rape Crisis (SOS Rape Crisis).
The services provided by Synergy Essex are independent of the police. This ensures individuals can seek help whether they choose to report the incident or not. This could be in relation to something that happened recently or in the past.
Survivors and victims can access support by reaching out on their own or through a referral from someone they trust. This could be a family member, friend, or professional.
At Synergy Essex, people of all ages can benefit from specialised emotional support. This includes counselling and advocacy.
For those pursuing legal action, they offer the help of an Independent Sexual Violence Adviser (ISVA). The advisers can guide and support them through the criminal justice process.
To learn more about the services available, please visit the Synergy Essex website.
Victims' code
At Essex Police we put victims at the heart of everything we do. The Victims’ Code explains the rights that everyone can expect to receive as a victim of crime, and helps us define what we must do for all victims from their initial contact with our force until the conclusion of their case.
Find out more about the code and to understand the rights of a victim of crime, on our support for victims and witnesses of crime page.
To report a crime, please use our digital 101 service. In an emergency call 999.
Convicted
Nicholas Ewart Percival Rayner, 55, formerly of Raynes Park, was charged with four sexual offences counts and denied all the charges.
Following a trial at Chelmsford Crown Court in July he was found guilty of two offences, including indecent assault of a child.
At the same court on in October 2024 he was jailed for 7 years and 3 months, issued with a restraining order, a 10-year sexual harm prevention order and placed on the sex offenders register for life.