Reflect on your behaviour

If your actions make your relationships a toxic place to be, it’s time to reflect on your behaviour and get the help you need.

That’s the message from the Southend, Essex and Thurrock Domestic Abuse Board (SETDAB) as Essex unites to tackle domestic abuse.

Working in partnership with The Change Project, we are encouraging people to break the cycle of domestic abuse by changing their behaviour.

The campaign focuses on different types of abuse – from physical abuse, to controlling behaviour, stalking and harassment, and uncontrolled emotions like humiliation or anger aimed at your loved ones.

A young woman from North Essex who was helped by The Change Project revealed that she would physically abuse her mother when she was under the influence.

She said that she felt guilty after the abuse had taken place and would buy her mum flowers to make up for it. She praised her time at the Change Project, saying: 

“[they] taught me how to manage my emotions, how to recognise my triggers, how to remove myself and get time out so I can de-escalate my anger.”

Through support, The Change Project aim to break the cycle of domestic abuse by making perpetrators realise their abusive behaviour and to prevent it in the future.

Not only will this make victims safer – and will mean that some people never become victims – but it will also make real, lasting change and hopefully drive down domestic abuse offences.

In 2020, The Change Project lowered their age of referral to 16-years-old. They are now open to referrals for those aged 16 and over.

We hope this will encourage young people to find help and support to manage their emotions, building positive behaviours in their lives. 

If you recognise any of the behaviour mentioned in this article and have been reflecting on your actions, it’s not too late to make a change.

Please visit The Change Project for advice on how to make a difference to you, your family, and your partners in the future. 

If you’re a survivor of abuse looking for community support in your area please visit the Essex Compass website. 

If you want to learn more about how to report abuse offences, you can find more information, including how to delete your recent web browser history, on our advice and information pages.

We have teamed up with pubs and bars, across the county, to launch a new arm of our perpetrator focussed Reflect campaign around the issue of consent.

This new phase of the campaign, funded by Southend and Thurrock Domestic Abuse Partnership (SETDAB) asks people to consider their own actions and behaviour.